Ugh... I got whatever Josh had and am now hacking in a disgusting fashion and have a scratchy throat. UGH.

Thanks to Penny waking me up for our scheduled 730AM cuddle session, I am awake much too early on a Sunday. And I have way too much cleaning to do. Like always. And I'm sure I will be overwhelmed and get NONE of it done.

Since I have very little to say, instead, I give you... a pic and some links...



And links:

Have you missed this week's Google Doodles? Today's is Elmo, but clearly Cookie and Oscar are the winners. Hoping there will be some Grover love?

While reading some Sesame Street articles, this book was mentioned.Imagine my surprise when the link was to The B'more Sun! Apparently the author is a former editor! I sometimes forget that Sesame Street (or, more accurately, the Muppets) are a somewhat local enterprise...

Zero thinks this is the coolest shit in the world.

While I am more partial to this...

My hacking fits are scaring the kitties... :-(

• 10:06 I like it when I can work Iron Maiden song titles into my work.

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• 15:39 I think at least once a day there's something that reminds me why I dislike using Windows.
• 16:45 Hmmm... should I pick up Dragon Age just in case of swine flu epidemic? Need game options in addition to MREs, shotgun, barbed wire.

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Tonight was spent tying knots and climbing walls with Josh, Jill, and Max. And two apparently Orthodox Jewish girls - or something since they climbed while wearing skirts. It was weird.

Since most of the time was spent learning knots, we didn't climb a ton. And since I've taken 2 or 3 intro to climbing classes, I always send a chunk of time un-learning old/different habits. But I managed to make it up the wall all three times that I climbed, and I got progressively less panicky each time! Still don't anticipate making it up any super-tall walls, but I managed the little ones okay.

Hopefully I've found some exercise that several people are into, and we all seemed at roughly the same level. I also joined the gym at work and am going to try that out either tomorrow or next week. Alright gym world, here I come...

Here's hoping climbing + gym + actually attending derby practice will equal weight loss, endurance, and self-confidence.

If you ever wanted to know what the Sea Dogs really looked like, here they are.






We were a silly bunch. 

• 16:01 A player cannot learn of a game's ending without experiencing it, because a game is not a linear object.

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Work continues to be a clusterfuck. It sure is interesting hanging out and assuming I'm going to get fired. Every day just gets more and more stressful, and if I thought I could stand to go back to BB I would actually be considering it. What does one do in this situation? I'm nearly in tears at least once a day, and I feel physically ill by the time I leave.

Josh is sick and I don't want to read my book. So my night has consisted of being quiet downstairs and not accomplishing a god-damned thing. I need some fucking friends and I need to actually pursue my hobbies. I need motivation. Or a life. Or friends. Or a gun.

It's been a really weird day... I'm stressing because of a recent wave of rapes in my general vicinity. (http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/baltimore-city/bal-rape1104,0,4946556.story) Of course, who knows what the usual number would be, but the news is reporting this batch of them. They're striking uncomfortably close to home - on several levels - and of course they started right when it started getting dark by 530. I guess it always gets dark early in the winter, but this just seems nuts... And it will only get worse! It seems like winter always takes me by surprise, and now I'm walking home in the dark. It's interesting being part of a community of women when stuff like this happens. I'm really struck by how much it affects a lot us. I keep trying to put my thoughts on it into words, but I just can't seem to. But the guys I've mentioned it to have all blown it off, whereas most of the women seem to really take it to heart. Is it because we are raised with this fear of it being the worst thing that can happen? Is it because we're so used to various kinds of sexual harassment that we can place ourselves in this situation without much imagination? It's scary stuff. And I'm not the only one shaken up by it.

I'm kind of burnt out derby-wise... I haven't skated since the bout last month, and while I miss skating, man am I sick of the rest of the bullshit... I'm trying to sort through how I can participate in committees, and I just want to strangle everyone. To be fair, that's basically how I feel about just about everyone in my life right now... I seem to be surrounded by people with little to no management skills who are in the position of telling me what to do, or running things the way they want for no good reason. And I'm feeling disenfranchised and left out and walked on, or my ideas elicit no response or a sharply negative one. And I'm just kind of tired of it, and am kind of tired of the people, and am tired of investing effort for little payoff. And again, I'm saying this about derby, but I feel like I'm talking about the rest of my life too...

In weird family news apparently my great-aunt is moving to GA to be closer to my aunt and uncle. She's senile, or at least heading that way, but she's always been a little crazy. Hopefully my aunt and uncle can help keep her company, and hopefully they can handle this. I'm not really sure what I think of the whole mess, but I guess I hope it's for the best. My family has also kind of worn me out, and I can only imagine what fun I'll have when my parents make it back to the States next year. On the one hand, I miss them, on the other hand, they're just another added stressor that tends to run my life and pull me 10 directions at once. Despite some of the problems I've had because of their absence, I can't say that it wasn't nice having them far away...

In possibly family-related news... I got a phone call from a 307 number today on the way home. To make it worse... it was a hangup after I answered. I think. I also may have hung up out of fear, I can't say for sure. I saw the area code, read it as 703 and hit the answer button. But while picking up the call my brain kicked in and said WAIT NO OH SHIT and realized that it was a Wyoming area code and hung up. So I'm not sure who hung up on who, but I am certain that no one said anything on the other line. Were this a call from most other parts of the country I would be less concerned.... but frankly, there aren't that many people in Wyoming, and I doubt many of them have a reason to call a 202 number. I was hit by a realization that it could have been my cousin calling with news of my grandpa, so I checked FB just in case. Didn't seem to be any G'pa news, so I guess it was either a wrong number or my mother stalking me. Awesome. I haven't gotten any more calls tonight so I guess I can chalk it up to a wrong number for now.

 



Designed by the lovely and talented paintscribe .

Release dates forthcoming.

I was contacted by a gaming club called the Dead Gamers Society in Orange County, CA. They plan on running Houses of the Blooded demos this Sunday. Unfortunately, I'll be in Las Vegas this weekend, so I won't be able to attend. Here's the notice I got:




So, if you have the time and the interest, go check it out!

(Here's their website and contact information.)

I haven't updated in quite awhile, have I? Poor LJ... I miss you!

I just have so little motivation to sit down at a computer and do what feels like CHORES - checking and cleaning up email, reading LJ, updating calendar, replying to CCRG BS, keeping track of family, updating GoodReads, etc.And of course, putting it off only makes it worse and I end up spending an entire night doing bullshit on the internet instead of all the ACTUAL chores I need to do around the house.

I have so many things I'd like to get done... derby, rock climbing, a gym habit, cleaning the house and keeping it clean, crafty stuff, City of Heroes, spending time with Josh, making friends, going out... SLEEP. And I think I'm spending too much time reading. It seems like the only things I reliably do on any given day are... work, eat, sleep, and read. I LOVE to read. But I feel like I've been doing it almost to the detriment of the rest of my life. For whatever reason I feel compelled to read a couple (or 3 or 4) books a week. When I was commuting hours a day, that made sense. It was a productive and lightweight way to keep myself entertained. Now I ride a free shuttle to and from work every day. My total commute time is barely over an hour, and some of that time is spent walking, and my 30 minute lunch is barely time to grab food and eat. So I'm going to try to cut back on reading. I don't know exactly how to go about it... But I'm going to try to do other things instead. Fortunately right now I'm reading Dubliners by James Joyce. It's terrible, and I have no interest in reading it. Which is probably why tonight has been spent on the computer instead of on the couch with a book. Now if I can only branch out and start doing other things during this time...

I think part of the reason I've continued reading so much is its ability to shut my brain up. Work at Best Buy, and now work at Hopkins just leaves me miserable. Both jobs leave me stressed and mentally exhausted, and at least reading keeps me from thinking to hard and admitting that I'm sinking into depression. And it works. Sort of. But I have these other things that I want to prioritize, and I need to do so. And frankly, these other hobbies are a lot more likely to keep my spirits up.

I can't even bring myself to write about work. And derby off-season is in full swing and I haven't been able to drag myself to practice. Maybe tomorrow... but it seems like I have so many other things I need to get done! And every day either has plans or fills up with plans - most of which devolve into reading for hours or falling asleep on the couch. Gah! VICIOUS CYCLE!!!

But life hasn't been all bad, I can't make it sound that way... Exciting things have happened...

The Dolls won the CCRG 2009 Championship bout despite all kinds of issues and a team that only barely fielded enough players. We won pretty soundly, and somehow I ended up MVP. The MVP thing, while I appreciate it, is more of a joke than anything else. I played alright, and in fact, pretty well for myself, but I wasn't in any way a standout performance. Ultimately I was the last new girl standing on the Dolls, and I was friends with enough of the other team that I guess I won it. Whatever, it was sweet. And I'm so very very proud of our team for holding together through a VERY rough season.

I managed to get to the Renn Fair and leave without buying anything (other than food). Not even a hammock. And I was able to -quite literally- squeeze myself into some of my garb. Sadly, I saw the Rogues and was rather disappointed. The pipers had left and their show involved a keyboard? Not impressed...

Halloween ended up action-packed with many days of partying. Spooky was meh, Bruiser's Ball was a success - though I don't think many people recognized me in my costume, and Dracula's Ball in Philly was lovely. I ended up with a pretty fabulous costume - I was a goth rag doll with part of a store bought costume, some lovely hair falls from Ms. Rachel (oops Mrs. now!), various pieces of my own wardrobe, and some awesomely gothy makeup. I don't know when the last time I BOUGHT a costume was, so I was pretty pleased with the finished product. It survived 2 Halloween parties, one of which involved heavy drinking and stompy dancing, so I think it will be used again.

Now November is looking possibly busy - an 80s night on Friday, Elektroshock Saturday... WFTDA Nationals are the next weekend (if I decide to go), and there are various concerts coming up - Skinny Puppy, the Cranberries, Emilie Autumn - plus orphans Thanksgiving (anyone need a place to spend Turkey Day?). Then December has a birthday or two, Xmas, a Xmas parade to skate in, probably a CCRG holiday banquet... man there is just SO much going on...

Despite all of this busy-work, I still feel weirdly isolated here... I'm gonna continue pushing myself to do other things... REALLY need to get the crafty night started, have been trying to insert myself into derby committees, want to commit to going out more... I wish I knew what magical ability I had to make friends 5 years ago... I'm now much more defensive and shy, and I put a lot of that on my weight gain. But hey, that's why I've joined a gym right?!

Life goes on I guess. I'll try to keep updating a bit more... I need to get into the habit so I can actually sit back and be more introspective rather than just reciting what I've been up to. I need somewhere to release all this stuff that seems to be building up in the back of my head.

Facebook bringing back memories.

I was 29 when this record was released. I'm much older now.

And the song is stronger in my heart every year. Memories don't fade over time. Just the opposite.

One of the October Bear Swarm podcasts had the theme of "Character Advancement."

Listening to it after my Wicked Fantasy entry on experience points was... enlightening. 

They also talked about HotB, Wilderness of Mirrors and The Shotgun Diaries.

I gave a new Wicked Fantasy entry on the Open Design Podcast.

The santa vaca this time? Experience Points.

You can listen to it here. 

The new Crimson Sorrow podcast is up!

Go check it out! 

• 01:14 Dawn of the Dead + a house full of friends + Left 4 Dead + a bottle of vodka = a satisfying Halloween.
• 21:35 If knowledge of a game's plot would spoil its experience, it isn't a game.

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http://blag.xkcd.com/2009/11/02/notes/

http://blag.xkcd.com/?p=306

I had a lot of fun putting together today’s comic. Anyone who likes strange charts like this should check out Edward Tufte’s The Visual Display of Quantitative Information. It’s long been one of my favorite books. Thank you to my friend Tina for color advice, and to my brother Ricky for some Lord of the Rings detail corrections.

Also thank you to Olga and Noam for the lovely animated version of comic #442.

A Game of Tears makes two mentions of tivalti. Until recently, most ven scholars had little information on the game, but recent revelations have given us a very good look at what the game many call "ven chess."

The game can be recreated with a standard chess board and pieces, but the pieces have different names and slightly different moves.

THE PIECES
Spear (Pawn): The spear (or spearman) may only move forward but may move one or two spaces. Like the pawn, the Spear may only attack diagonally. The spear may not jump pieces like a knight.

Roadman (Knight): Moves as a knight.

Sword (Bishop): The sword (or swordsman) moves as a bishop.

Lover (Rook): The lover takes the place of the rook. The lover has a very strange move in that it can exchange places with the husband or the wife (see below) once per game. This move is called "the lover's leap." The lover may move in any direction but only two spaces.

The Wife & The Husband: At the beginning of the game both players put their respective husband (the King) and wife (the queen) in either the left or right hand and reveal their choices at the same time. The piece in the left hand is the submissive and the piece in the right hand is the dominant. The dominant piece moves like a standard king and the the submissive piece moves in a completely different way. The submissive piece may move as any other piece on the board.

OBJECT
The object of the game is to capture the dominant husband or wife. Not to isolate it (as in regular chess) but to capture it. Once the dominant is captured, the game is over.

RANSOM
If a player moves any piece to the other side of the board, he may exchange that piece for another captured piece.

This time, we're making hamburgers from experience points.

Take a listen.